Like most BRATs, I was given a challenge to write about WHY
the moniker BRAT is so important to me.
I had several blogs in my head, all of which explained it perfectly,
but, per usual, when I sat down to actually type why BRAT is so important to
me, they vanished.
BRAT is not just a moniker.
It is WHO I am. Like everything
else in the military, it is NOT a word; it’s an ACRONYM! While it varies on who you talk to, the
consensus is that it stands for Bold, Resilient, Adaptable, Tough…all qualities
BRATs past, present, and future have.
BRAT is community. I
told of a story from when I was a senior in high school. Despite all the close friends Jennifer had,
she reached out to me when she needed a fellow BRAT to talk to because I was
the only one who would and could possibly understand.
We don’t always have to know each other or even like each
other, but like we were taught, we always have the 6 of other BRATs, even if
they are the last person on earth we want to be friends with.
Why?
Because we’re a “family”.
The BRATs of the Korean War knew what I endured as a BRAT in the 70s and
80s, even it times and technology were different. BRATs who remember their dads being in
VietNam (My dad fought in ‘Nam, but was home safe by the time I was born….)
knew exactly how Jennifer felt (and the however thousands of BRATs felt) during
Gulf 1. And those of us who are Gulf 1
BRATs know exactly what Gulf 2 and Afghanistan BRATs are going through.
There isn’t a place on the path of BRATs that is completely un-understandable
by any BRAT, from any generation.
Sure, today’s generation of BRATs don’t understand what the
phrase “Undetermined Deployment” means and they have SKYPE and the internet to
make it easier to talk to and see Mommy or Daddy (in some cases both).
But that certainly doesn’t mean they have it easy either.
So, you ask yourself (or me, really) “What does that have to
do with what BRAT means to you?”
EVERYTHING!
I am a force to be reckoned with (so I’ve been told) because
when I want something (which honestly, isn’t very often) I don’t stop until it’s
mine. I have opinions and am unafraid to
speak them, but with that comes the training mindset of “Win the battle, lose
the war or lose the battle and win the war.”
I know when to speak up and when not to.
I am emotionally strong because I was taught at a very young
age that life isn’t fair. I can either
let circumstances destroy me or I could get up, get over, and get on, defeating
every challenge that comes my way.
It has taught me discipline. It has taught me work
ethic. It has taught me that it is
better to be too early than even a half second late.
It has taught me to be tough. When I was going through a divorce, my hero
was dying of colon cancer at the same time. Both of those are HUGE life changers.
Sure, I had my quiet moments of “THIS ISN’T FAIR!”, but I still got on with my
life, refusing to let the man who raised me to be BRAVE see me as anything less
than.
During this time, my mom told me that I was her rock during
this time (My brother was still serving in the Navy) and she was going to
heavily rely on me. Everything that being
raised a BRAT taught me, in this three month period, broke loose.
I never grieved my dad’s death. I shed tears alone for him, but never really
grieved him.
His having been in the Navy for 26 years and how many
deployments allowed my mom and I to thoroughly take in his loss. It was, for the first year, a
deployment. When the date came when he
was “scheduled to return home” and he didn’t, that’s when my years of BRAT
training helped my mom.
Being a BRAT isn’t being a dependent. It’s not just going where the military sends
your sponsor. It’s more…MUCH MORE…than
that.
It teaches us about life and death. It helps us obtain the skills that we will
need in order to survive in this war of life.
We don’t need to be coddled. We don’t
need to be understood. We just need to
be us…to be what we have always been…without choice…Military BRATs.
We possess traits that few, if any, civilians have. We have the traits that I heard many civilian
parent wish their child had. We didn’t
whine or cry over not getting our way without hearing the “lecture”. When it was time to move, we bucked up and
did it. Sure, we cried. We were leaving a life that we loved…but we
always knew that a new life we would love was just around the bend.
I was told by my boss that I am respected at work and that I’m
given so much responsibility because I can handle it.
That’s why being a BRAT is important to me.
"I shed tears alone for him". Alone. Even today, I shed tears alone. When my mother was in hospice, I cried between the facility and home in the car, I cried at her bedside, alone. My family may have seen my red puffy eyes, but I couldn't shed those tears in front of them, because I had to be strong - if I'm not strong, I can't protect my family. And I only remember my mother crying once in front of me. I wonder if this is characteristic of us... Thank you.
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