Monday, June 17, 2013

Sometimes, You Have To Be The Child...

As I research web sites and see stories about the military, the only ones that are passed on are the ones about the spouses.  Sure, they are true and the spouses DO deserve the credit given because they chose to marry a military man (or woman), but what about the kids of those military personnel?  How is it that few recognize the sacrifices that the kids make?  It is not easy to see your mother or father deployed and not really having the understanding as to why.

It was easy as a teen to comprehend why my dad was deployed, but as a six year old, it was the hardest thing.  This is from a lady whose father only fought in Vietnam, despite serving 26 years, the last year of service being filled with Operation Desert Shield and Desert Storm.  I cannot even begin to imagine what the kids of those who served in Operation Enduring Freedom or Operation Iraqi  Freedom are feeling, but I do have an understanding.

It's not easy to say goodbye to your parent before you go to bed in the evening, knowing that the next day brings a deployment.  Time, when you are a child, isn't measure like it is when you are an adult.  Six months or a year can be measured in days or weeks, but to a child, it is an eternity, even if you are in high school.  My dad was stationed in Orlando for schooling the last year of my older brother's high school tenure and the beginning of mine.  It was a year, but it was the longest year that, even to this day, I can ever remember.  I was going into a high school that I knew I'd only be at for a year, IF that.  My school suffered.  I missed my daddy.  This schooling came right after the Navy had made Daddy a Company Commander and I didn't get to see my daddy like my friends got to see theirs.

When I would go to bed, Dad was still with his Rickys.  When I woke up, Dad was with his Rickys.  While my dad was home more than a lot of military kids' parents, it was NEVER as often as I wanted it to be.  Even when he was home, he wasn't home home.  If he got home at a reasonable hour, it was most likely Dad would sleep.  Most people don't realise that the DIs,  CCs, or DSs have the SAME schedule as the recruits.  While they Do get more caffeine and naps, they get exhausted too.

I felt very lucky to have a dad in the Navy.  It was an honour, but it was also a sacrifice.  My friends got to go home and have both Mom and Dad for supper.  There were times that we'd have to go take dinner to the base because Dad had duty and couldn't come home.  My friends got to make family plans for Saturday, but, as a kid, it felt like it had to be on hold, depending on what duty section Dad was in.  And there were times our "family" days were just Mom, Brother, and me.

My friends would have their daddies tuck them in at night and sing them a song.  Not me.  If Dad wasn't deployed, it seemed like he was sleeping.  The Navy, as good as it was to the family, wore Dad out.
The one consolation that I have is that, despite being a Navy brat, is that my dad was able to always find time to spend time with the family.  I feel very lucky that way.

But, I had to go the THREE high schools, thus making me graduate a year later than I was suppose to.  (No complaints, since I DID graduate from the High School I WANTED to graduate from).  I had to constantly adjust to new schools and surroundings.  I had to adjust to a new life in a new city, full of strange sites and people and it was scary.  If it was scary for me as a teenager, it was scarier still as a young child.

I know the trials I faced as the child of a Sailor are nothing compared to what my mom faced as a military wife.  I'm in no way trying to compare my sacrifices to hers.  I just don't want people to forget that military children also constantly wear yellow ribbons around their hearts.  I want people to understand that military children also sacrifice the time they want to spend with Mom or Dad because the United States needs them for something.  I want people to understand that, for the most part, military kids have to do more adjusting than the kids of civilians.

We, too, have to say good-bye to friends that we have become close to over the two, three, or four years we were stationed someplace.  We, too, have had to make adjustments with our rooms in military housing.  We've also had to "make do".  For the most part, civilian kids wonder if they'll be in the Homecoming or Prom Court.  Military kids wonder if they'll be accepted at all.  For civilian kids, "Homecoming" generally  means football and a dance.  For military kids, "Homecoming" has several meanings.  Civilian kids don't generally worry about the possibility of switching schools int the middle of the year.  Military kids have come to accept that as part of being a military child.  While most civilian kids don't generally worry about how many credits it takes to graduate on time, military children tend to track credits like troops track terrorists.  Civilian kids don't usually worry bout going to multiple schools, but military kids understand that, if they only go to one school, they're lucky.  That's our lives as military children and, like it or not, we have come to accept that as part of our lives.  As we grow up, military daughters wonder if Daddy will be there to walk us down the aisle when we marry and military sons wonder if Mom will be there for graduation.

The children of those who have chosen to serve also have a strong understanding that Flag and Country come first.  It's not easy to spend a Thanksgiving with your parent deployed.  You sit and wonder what you've got to be thankful for.  After all, your parent is the one that is deployed overseas and in a war zone.  Christmases can be more painful because your military parent may not be there to see your face as you open that special gift.  While other kids can, on a whole, count on Thanksgiving and Christmas to be wonderful and full of happy memories, military children have learned that sometimes these holidays an be full of tears and pain.

It was hard, sometimes, to not be able to say or to do anything because no one wanted to understand or know what a military child goes through.  People want to be there for the spouses of the deployed, but not for the kids.  We learned to stick together and to always be there for each other, even if we didn't like each other.  While civilian kids were mostly able to plan things a year ahead, military kids learned to adjust plans to one day at a time.  Civilian kids got to generally pick and choose friends, but military children learned to depend on each other because few, if any, civilian kids understand what it's like when Mom or Dad go away for months at a time.

Our sacrifices are rarely noted because we are "only" the children of Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, and Airmen. It is as though our sacrifices are worthless and not worth mentioning.  In NO way am I saying that our sacrifices are greater than those of the spouses, but they are there and they do need to be noted.  You don't have to be the spouse of a military person to know and understand the sacrifices that need to be made.

Sometimes, you have to be the child.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Intro post

Hi.  My name is Gina and I'm a Navy Brat.

I started this blog since my other blog about being a military brat bombed.

I grew up in the Navy, my dad's retirement and my high school graduation happening on the SAME DAY!  Go figure.

I hope that other brats...Navy or other branch...will read, enjoy, find some similarities and comment.

I will do what I can to translate some of the humour of the situations of growing up in the Navy on to "paper" so to speak.  Sometimes, to write the humour doesn't always translate well.  Well, at least for me.

Sit back.  Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy! :)